Vampires, blood-thirsty terrors of the night. They have terrified nyctophobics (those fearful of the dark), listeners of urban legends, and horror movie viewers for generations.

Recently, I pondered upon the different vampiric myths and here are my thoughts, questions, and comments:

Vampires are not supposed to be able to come into a house without an invitation: What if they burn the house down? What if they just burn one wall down? Can't that cancel out the "house" factor? Wouldn't they just walk over the nonexistent wall?

Holy water will hurt/repel vampires: What if they aren't Christian?

Garlic repels vampires: Of course garlic repels vampires! If you had strands of garlic bulbs hanging around like you see in movies and cartoons, I'd be repelled as well! Anything or anyone with even a slight sense of smell wouldn't be attracted to that much garlic.

Vampires turn into bats: Couldn't they choose something a little more scary to turn into? Bats are basically winged mice. Bats used to fly into my grandmother's house through the chimney. All I see when I hear "bat" is the comical image ofmy great grandma chasind a winged mouse around with a broom to kill it. When she had, she usually tossed it outside for the cat. Take that vampires! My grandma just whooped you flying rodent behind!

Vampires suck your blood: Okay, I'm partially hemophobic. The fact that they're after my blood is a bit disconcerting. However, how are they getting all the nutrients they need from my blood? Are vampires just chronically iron deficient?

Vampires can't see their reflection in the mirror: If I were a vampire, this would be a good thing. You are DEAD. You are pasty, pale, and probably have circles under your eyes from that chronic iron deficiency. Actually, not being able to see yourself would be good for everyone. Maybe we'd all be a little less vain if we couldn;t check a mirror every five seconds.

That's about all for now.